Why Does My Cat Knead Me But Not My Husband?

Why Does My Cat Knead Me But Not My Husband

Cats can be persnickety creatures, favoring one person in the household over all others. 

There are numerous reasons why your kitty might knead on you but not your significant other. The more you learn about this behavior, the better you will understand your pet as a whole.

Why Does My Cat Knead?

Kneading behavior is fairly common among cats of all breeds. It is a natural instinct that allows these animals to feed from their mother when they are very young. This helps them to obtain as much milk as they need to grow healthy and strong. Some animal behavior experts believe that this instinct can be traced back to ancient times.

Reasons Your Cat Kneads One Particular Person

If your cat only kneads you, there are a number of possible explanations.

1. They Have a Particularly Strong Bond with You

When your cat kneads you, it is basically their way of showing affection. It is also a sign that they are very comfortable around you. This indicates that you have a truly special bond with your feline friend.

There is a good chance that your cat simply feels more secure and at ease in your company than with your husband. A cat will often gravitate to the person in the household that gives them the most attention. If you are your cat’s primary caregiver, they will probably bond with you more than anyone else in the family.

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grey cat paw

2. You Happen to be the Right Gender

While it might seem a bit strange, cats are generally more likely to knead women than men. This is due to the fact that kneading is a natural part of the feeding process for kittens. Believe it or not, these animals can differentiate between male and female humans.

3. It’s Nap Time

It’s also possible that your cat is kneading your legs because it is looking for a comfy place to take a nap. These animals are always looking for soft, warm places to fall asleep on.

This is also likely the result of an ancient instinct that cats developed to sleep safely in the wild. They would knead the area they wanted to sleep on in order to get rid of any unwanted occupants. It’s also believed that they did this as a way of making the surface smooth and more comfortable to sleep on as well.

4. They Like Your Scent

Cats are often attracted to pleasant aromas, and it could be the reason they knead you more than your husband. If you use a particularly sweet-smelling perfume, this could explain why they keep choosing you. It’s also possible that they are just attracted to your natural scent.

5. You Let Them Knead

Your cat might look to you for kneading because you let them do it. If your husband doesn’t allow them to knead, this could very well be the case. If you allow your cat to do this, they will remember for next time. These animals also have a tendency to knead people who will sit still and don’t squirm around. It is much easier for them to do this if the person isn’t moving very much.

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6. They Like Your Clothes

No, your cat isn’t kneading you because it thinks your outfit is stylish. But they might be responding to the soft material of your pants or shirt. If your cat likes to rub up against you a lot, this might be a plausible explanation.

It is no secret that cats love to make contact with just about anything that is smooth or feels good to brush up against. If your clothes are particularly soft, they might be especially inclined to knead you.

red cat kneading

How to Put a Stop to Your Cat’s Kneading

If your cat’s kneading has gotten out of hand, there are some helpful tips you should follow.

1. Distract Your Cat

One of the best ways to go about getting your cat to stop kneading you is by distracting them with something enticing. This could be a shiny trinket or one of their favorite toys. You might also want to consider putting out some catnip. When it comes to putting a stop to undesirable behaviors with cats, this method tends to work well.

2. Make Your Bedroom Off Limits

If you have a problem with your cat kneading you while you are in bed, you’ll want to make this room off limits to them. You can do this by simply keeping the bedroom door locked while you are sleeping.

If you don’t have a lock on your bedroom door, there are other ways to discourage this behavior. You can give them a quick spray with a water bottle anytime they come into this room. Cats are generally intelligent animals, so they should get the message pretty quickly.

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3. Lay Them Down

As soon as you begin to notice your cat kneading on your lap, you should gently push them down so they are lying flat. This will encourage them to go to sleep. This method isn’t always effective, especially with very stubborn cats, but it’s worth trying.


  • Kneading behavior is fairly common among cats, and it can be traced back to their ancient ancestors.
  • Cats knead, at least in part, because they do so when they are kittens to get milk from their mother.
  • If your cat keeps choosing to knead on you rather than your husband, it could be because you have a strong bond with them.
  • Most cats choose their favorite person in the household to knead and cuddle upon.
  • It is a pretty well-established fact that cats tend to knead women more than men on average.
  • You could be using a certain perfume or even soap that your cat is very attracted to.
  • If you want to stop your cat’s kneading, try distracting them with a fun toy.
  • You can also try gently pushing them down so they are lying flat on your lap. This will encourage them to sleep.
  • If your cat keeps jumping on your in bed to knead, simply lock the door to your bedroom.